Successfully Living with Your Roommate

Whether you're living in a residence hall room, an on-campus apartment, or an off-campus house, you will probably have to live with one or more roommates during your time at Syracuse University. Sharing a living space with someone you don't know can cause excitement, anxiety, or stress. Cleaning schedules, noise levels, moodiness, and bills can quickly transform a friendly relationship into a stressful one. Here are some tips for establishing a pleasant living arrangement with your roommate.

 

Before You Arrive at SU

a. Contact your new roommate to discuss who will bring large items for the room (for example, television, stereo, microwave, etc.)
b. Pay attention to your own habits. Are you clean? Mess? Do you go to bed early or tend to stay up late?
c. What do you expect from your relationship with your roommate? Do you expect you will be best friends? What if that doesn't happen? Remember, it's okay if you do not become best friends, as long as you can live together in the same room.
d. Think about what you can compromise on and what you absolutely cannot. For example, if your roommate wants to have a friend over, are you willing to study in the lounge or the library rather than your room?
e. Be aware that first impressions may not always be accurate. While Facebook and MySpace are great fun, they often do not give a completely accurate representation. Keep an open mind about your roommate; you would want them to do that for you, too.

 

Once You're Here

a. Hang out with your roommate a bit; do things together. Go to orientation and residence hall events, and meet people on your floor. Bond over positive experiences.
b. Take your living agreement seriously. This is your chance to set ground rules for your room. Feel free to talk about any issues that may come up.
c. Remember that communication is the key to a successful roommate relationship. If you are having troubles with your roommate, address specific behaviors that are bothersome. If you try and do not make any progress, talk to your RA.

 

Establish Rules

a. Talk about one another's preferences immediately. Are you an early riser? Does your roommate like to listen to loud music? Does either of you require complete silence when working on assignments? Discussing these preferences can help you establish helpful ground rules. Make sure they are clear; it will help you avoid minor disputes and make living together go more smoothly. If you are living in one of our residence halls, your resident advisor (RA) will work with you to complete a required Living Agreement form that will help facilitate conversations on the topic. To view a sample form, visit http://orl.syr.edu/other/roommates/Living%20Agreements.pdf.

 

Compromise

a. This is especially important for roommates. Living together involves blending two (or more) lives and lifestyles. You may be very similar or very different. You may feel differently about certain things. For instance, your roommate may not start working on homework until 10 p.m. and may like to have all the lights on, while you may prefer to have complete your studying early so you can get plenty of sleep. In this type of situation, you will need to find a compromise. A compromise doesn't mean one person is surrendering to another person; it means that two or more people are working together toward a solution everyone can live with.

 

Communicate

a. If you're frustrated about something, tell your roommate. Your roommate can't read your mind any better than you can read theirs. You will need to communicate in order to have a good, harmonious relationship. Problems may arise, and that's totally normal. People who live together will eventually hit a nerve. Our best advice is to just talk it out. Communicating doesn't mean being critical or nitpicking, it means being honest and open. Choose your battles carefully. Complaining about everything could be annoying, too. The key to a successful relationship is having balance. You'll have good times and not-so-good times. If you focus on the positive, and try hard to have more good times, you may find that you will.